Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
