I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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