Don't you send me to vm
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Boobs speak an international language.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
