Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
