All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
