U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Four minutes until I can fart!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
