your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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