what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
