We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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