I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
