She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
