It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
