we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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