The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
