This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
