All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
