New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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