My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
