I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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