her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
