Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
