Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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