We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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