Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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