I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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