I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
