Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
