like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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