Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
