Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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