when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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