These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize