my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
