Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she woke up with a sticky ear
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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