I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
