In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
