areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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