no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
