I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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