so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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