he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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