i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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