I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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