I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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