Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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