were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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