toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
