That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Randomize
