i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
