I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
