why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
