I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
