bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize