hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
