Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
