I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize