yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
