if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
