people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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