I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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