Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I touched a dick in church today
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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