I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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