no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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